Don't feel bad about writing posts about problems, Susan. If you were in an office situation, you'd have colleagues right there with you every day, and you could get advice & feedback & encouragement from them. Piano and other music teachers are often isolated... we are blessed to have colleagues HERE in the forum with whom we can interact. Business issues *are* difficult for many of us; you are not alone.

Amanda

A big Yes to everything Amanda said!

Susan,
I can relate so much to everything that you mentioned. You can read all my posts with similar issues. I got a lot of wonderful suggestions and so much emotional support from this forum.
I agree with you, no one bends the rules for us as parents (I have a toddler), yet we, as teachers are always pressured by "bossy" parents. This year I experienced so much negativity from some parents it's unbelievable,but I am trying my best to stand up for myself.
Good luck with everything!

This has been a great thread. Thanks to all for sharing.

I know it's been a month since the original post, but wanted to add in my support. You are not alone at all, Susan! I am frustrated on a regular basis about issues I'm still learning to deal with in my studio.

The main issue is always parents. The kids are great. The parents can be a big pain!! Even extended family. I have one student whose grandmother brings her. This lady has tested my last nerve.. I don't think she means to be how she is though. She doesn't seem to be purposely trying to upset me. She's extremely loud, she gets on her phone when she comes in the house and proceeds to talk extremely loudly, she doesn't know personal boundaries, and on months with Monday holidays she always tries to pay me less for the month. I wrote an e-mail to the girl's mother about my frustration, and I didn't handle it the BEST possible way, so the mother ended up being upset and said they would consider going elsewhere for lessons. I replied back nicely in every way and even apologized for coming across as being "inconsiderate". (They are the ones who are being inconsiderate to me, obviously.) Honestly, I would be saved a lot of stress if this family DID go somewhere else, just because of how frustrating this grandmother is. The girl only practices 2-3 times a week (pitiful!).

It's always hard to know how to PROTECT MY STUDIO AND PERSONAL BOUNDARIES and BE AS KIND AND PROFESSIONAL AS POSSIBLE. I find it very difficult and I'm still learning how to handle things with less emotion and with more logical thinking.

So, you're not alone!!

April: you should not have apologized!

Just like the old adage goes for school teachers: never smile before Christmas. In other words be polite but firm about your policies, address problems as they occur, and keep in mind that your clients (parents) whether personal friends or not need to know that this is your business. Keep friendship for off work times, and stick to business during work times. Otherwise you'll be constantly run over by parents, who are like children, always testing your boundaries.

Next time it happens, like when she's talking on her phone, just politely tell her to take her phone call outside. When she questions the payment just say "it's x amount each month regardless of the number of lessons in a month." Personal boundary issues: Address them quickly but firmly. I tell my parents and students that the rest of my house is off limits to protect my family's privacy. It doesn't matter that most of the time my family is not home. When they are home, they shouldn't have to deal with my students or parents!

Polite but firm, always. And don't make excuses or explanations, that will just lead to more problems.

What I find interesting is why it is us as piano teachers who seem to struggle the most with issues like this. My daughter was recently enrolled in ballet classes and (almost monthly) something happened that made me say "I would NEVER have gotten away with this with my students"... but no one batted an eye and certainly never made a big deal about it. I don't think group instructors deal with the same issues that we do - why do you think this is? Just simply the nature of group lessons? Because the cost of individual piano lessons is higher than group classes? Interested to hear what you think because I just don't know!

Thanks for your response Marcia. I did feel in my conscience that I could have handled it better; aka, without voicing how frustrated I was about it. Do you think it became too "personal" that way, instead of a business request? (I do.)

I struggle because my husband so often will tell me how the customer is "always right". I understand about wanting to treat customers/clients/students right, BUT at the expense of my boundaries and well-being? I think not!! So, I know my husband supports what I do, but he doesn't always agree per se and when I ask, he tells me things like this which doesn't help me establish my boundaries. I guess I need to stop asking him what he thinks of the situations I find myself in, lol.

Tdow, I think that the biggest issue may stem from the fact that a large amount of private piano instructors teach at their home. I do. I have a separate room for my studio, but I still think it causes people to want to do what they want since it's a "home" rather than a building only for business. That's my guess on why we have trouble and why our clients give us such a hard time sometimes. Also, some of my parents sometimes behave as if they are the only ones here. I think because I DON'T give group lessons they simply do not see the other 19 students I have and don't think about my time as being very valuable.

Still, if it were me going to someone's house, I would be very respectful of their time and boundaries, and pay my bill on time, etc. Unfortunately, this world is filled with people who don't give a second thought about others.

I think you've made a great point here April - if they knew how many other families were also making requests of your time they might act differently. I have to admit...as many times as I wanted to crab at the ballet teacher I didn't...because I know how it feels! Maybe piano parents should do a "job shadow" at our studios for a week to see how it feels to be on this side! LOL

The attitude of "the customer is always right" works for Target and Starbucks, where if they lose money catering to one difficult customer, they will make it up in five minutes from the thousand other customers in the store.

I think that attitude has bred thousands of rude customers who seem to enjoy treating store employees like dirt. My daughter is a Starbucks barista, and I cannot believe the stories she tells of the things people say and do. She estimates about 30% of drive-thru customers and 15-20% of inside customers are rude to the employees, use vulgar language, raise their voices to announce what a lousy store Starbucks is and how stupid the employees are, complain about the wait (with obviously 10 cars in front of them, why do they go to the drive-thru anyway?), etc. etc. Then they come back the next day and do the same thing.

In our case, the customer is not always right because we don't have customers. We have individual clients who pay us for our expertise and our time.